


Talk

by HiddenViolet



Series: Four of a kind [4]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Communication, Hurt Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., M/M, Mentions of Violence, Multi, Protective John Munch, Protective Odafin "Fin" Tutuola
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29122707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenViolet/pseuds/HiddenViolet
Summary: Sonny starts to break down how he feels about what happened.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./John Munch/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola
Series: Four of a kind [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091180
Kudos: 9





	Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Another one! Yay!

“I’ve always trusted her and wanted her to like me. From the first day I showed up with pastries, I wanted her to think that I was good enough for her squad. Manhattan SVU is legendary, and I wanted to prove that I was good enough to be part of it. No one thought I was. Everyone thought I was just some stupid kid from Staten Island, even me.”

John moved to speak, and Sonny interrupted him.

“I know that’s not really true. That’s how it felt, though. That sense that literally everyone was just indulging me, letting me play at being the grownup detective because I was such a sweetheart. It didn’t help that Amaro and Rollins literally never passed up a chance to fuck with me or tear me down, and no one did anything about it. Still, I admired her and wanted her to think I was good enough. Now, I don’t know what to feel. How do you stop admiring someone? How do you stop looking up to them? How do you stop being their friend?”

“Oh, Sonny. I wish I could tell you that there was some easy fix, but there isn’t. I can tell you that you do have people who think you are amazing at your job because you are. There are other people who you admired who genuinely think you are a good detective and a good choice for the SVU.”

“Like you, Fin and Rafi?”

“Like me, Fin and Rafael.”

“It does mean a lot to me that the three of you support me in this. Sometimes at work, it feels like the only one on my team that really believes in me is Fin. Then again, he always did believe in me, even if he thinks my optimism is annoying.”

John winced but didn’t bother to deny it. The truth was that Fin wasn’t an upbeat person, and he didn’t suffer upbeat people very well. Which is why John and Rafael made sense as Fin’s lovers and why they had been together for so long.

It was also why it had been such a shock when Fin had wanted to introduce Sonny into their relationship. That plus Fin had been iffy about his and _Rafael’s_ age gap. With the difference between him and Sonny being even more prominent, it was surprising that he’d even consider it, let alone suggest it.

He’d insisted on Sonny, though, and John couldn’t fault his taste. The man was sunshine incarnate and brought much needed levity into their lives.

“We’ll always be there for you, even if it seems like the rest of the world is against you.”

Sonny sighed lightly. “I think that maybe it’s time to make a change. Being a cop was always just a stopgap. I passed the bar. I can be a lawyer if I want to be. I need to make a change. After Mike was injured, I didn’t want to leave the squad and him down, two people. Now, it’s been years, and I still haven’t made the jump. Perhaps this is what I need to quit.”

John smiled sadly at him. “I wish that you could make this decision without the added stress of having been physically abused by your commanding officer. I wish that this would solely be about whether or not you actually want to be a lawyer.”

“Yeah, well, everybody thinks I’m a shit cop anyway, might as well quit while I’m behind.”

John narrowed his eyes at him. “If you’re going to keep insulting my lover that way, I’m going to take you over my lap. Nobody gets to talk bad about him.”

Sonny waved him off. “I’m a good cop, blah blah blah, people love and care for me. Doesn’t make it any easier to deal with when everyone else treats me like crap. So, you going to help me type up my letter of resignation? I want it to sound professionally spiteful, and you’re the best at that.”

John sighed but nodded in acquiescence. “Of course, I will. Let me get my notepad.”

Fin gazed at the IAB agent with a face of stone. He didn’t like dealing with these guys, even if they were a necessary part of the job. He didn’t like that they were all over them for even minor mistakes. However, this wasn’t something that could be left alone. It needed to be dealt with soon.

“So, she hit Detective Carisi, in public? You and several other detectives saw. How many of them do you think would be willing to give a statement about what happened?”

“I don’t know how many. The Lieutenant inspires loyalty, and that’s hard to overcome. A lot of those people she picked out and has stood up for repeatedly. Even though they saw it, they might give the party line about not really paying any attention and seeing anything worth reporting. They might go so far as to lie for her. It’s tough to tell. However, I know for sure that Sargent Mike Dodds would say something.”

“Right, and you said you have documentation?”

“Yeah, took a picture of the bruise, figured that we were definitely going to need it.”

He nodded, and Fin tried to remember his name to no avail. He was too stressed out to care about who the guy was. He just needed him to do his job. He handed over his phone with the picture of Sonny’s face on it.

Even though Fin had seen it in person before he had left for work, the sight still made him wince. By the time he had left that day, it had darkened completely and would likely stay that way for several days.

“Well, we would have a stronger case if the other detectives come forward, but if we have two of you, that should be enough. This sort of public incident is one that’s tough to cover-up even with the detectives on her side. We’re going to investigate it and see what can be done to address the situation. With Lieutenant Benson’s record, it’s unlikely that anything more than a slap on the wrist or some anger classes will be awarded. However, we can find a place for Detective Carisi where he’ll be safe.”

Fin sighed but knew that it was already more than most precincts would’ve gotten. Higher-ups with good records had this sort of thing brushed away.

“Well, thanks. Keep me updated, will you.”

The agent nodded, and Fin left his office, even more dejected than when he had entered.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments help me in my pit of anxiety and kudos give me a reason to check my emails.


End file.
